Yesterday we had a meeting people came in breaking bats bending prison bars over head, it touched me i guss i got a sensenation every time god is mention but its good. the mad a hot water bag expode and i got it signed by the 3 people. ialso got 2 tshirts one was free, and the othe my friend Jordan bought me I didt want him to spend his money on me cause i wanna pay people back i dont like being spoiled or haveing stuff bought for me, its just not me i like the stuff i have and i take care of the stuff i work hard but i get no pay, im just diffrent from every female and/or woman cause i dont need the nice clothes or expensive gifts to make me happy, all i like is shareing my life with the man who saved me for takeing my life. the woman made me see but her story is diffrent i did go looking for anything like sex and stuff to get over my problems i just locked myself in a dark place for 8 years and never wanted out cause not one could hurt me when i was locked up. if anyi replies to this i will be shocked. the thing that happened to me is i lost my grandpa, my hero, and i kept myself hidden, but i did find someone that help me and made feel like me 9 years ago. i felt loved and i pray every night to make my past better and sitll be with Ronnie Moreno, but as i lay in my bed i would cry or wake up screming his name or feel random pain in my body, like in my leg i feel at random like someone knifed me, then people look at me cause im in pain. I dont ask for much but i guess my big heart is just a joke. i know now that i will be going to the Marines after high school i rather do that then be alone and living without a reason. I cant make choices i want to move out of the est coast there is way to much drama in my lif that moving is my only choice.